More people are wearing face coverings these days, which is good. However, I've noticed something. No, not about politics or distancing or age groups that are wearing them versus age groups who aren't or anything else like that. I've noticed something about myself. Well, two somethings actually.
First, I've realized that prior to this I rarely looked people in the eyes. Now that the eyes are pretty much the only thing to look at, it occurs to me that in the past I have usually directed my gaze somewhere else when speaking with someone. I think I usually look at a person's mouth because I've also discovered that I have a hard time hearing people speaking through a face covering. So I think that maybe all those years of playing loud music and being on stage have finally caught up with me and I think maybe I have been watching peoples' mouths as a crutch in my listening and hearing and understanding them. Maybe.
Whether or not that is the case, I know that I don't normally look people in the eyes when I talk to them because now that I can only look people in the eyes when I talk to them I have discovered that I am uncomfortable looking people in the eyes when I talk to them. It's so personal and...intimate. I feel like I am intruding in some sort of personal space to which I'm not sure I've been invited. Yes, I was taught like everyone else, "When you meet someone, shake their hand and look them in the eyes." And I have done that...when meeting them. But I think I haven't done that for the rest of the conversation. And now that the whole shaking hands things is gone the eyes are all we have and it makes me uncomfortable to look people in the eyes but I don't want to not look people in the eyes because there really is nowhere else to look. And I wonder what that says about me and my openness to others.
Second, as there is no place else to look, I have noticed that most people...in fact, almost ALL people...have beautiful eyes. Really. I have been astonished at how beautiful peoples' eyes truly are. There is such a variety of shapes, colors, expressiveness, and light in peoples' eyes. I've always heard the old saying that the eyes are the window to the soul, but being someone that rarely looked people in the eyes, I hadn't really thought about the truth of that statement much at all. In fact, I think I've really only ever truly looked into the eyes of people I'm really close with. Which, obviously, says more about me than anything. But still.
I think one of the things I am grateful for in this time of physical-but-not-social distancing is face coverings. Not just because they indicate that someone cares about me enough to protect me from any potential infection they might have, though that is part of it. Mostly, it's because face coverings have forced me to move outside my comfort zone and actually look people in the eye and connect with them, human to human. And that has made me a better human.
Grace and peace...
PT
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